Sorry if this column sucks, it’s not my fault …
… I invited Utah into my stadium for a lovely evening, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. And a 62-20 beating.“I don't care how fast a skater you are, if you don't play this game with a big heart and a big bag of knuckles in front of the net, you don't got dinky-do."
I know fans out there who openly root for Ohio State to lose in vicious, painful, fingernail-pulling, Pitch Perfect-watching fashion even more than they pull for their own team.I know fans who live for watching the SEC get embarrassed, especially if Nick Saban is involved.
Me? Watching Oregon get destroyed by a team like Utah is pure college football porn.
I have absolutely nothing against the good, decent folk of Oregon. Everyone around the program is certainly nice enough, and compared to most fan bases I’ve managed to offend over the years, this one has been as good as gets when it comes to the fun trash-talking – especially considering how much I’ve ripped on the program.
I just despise what Oregon football stands for stylistically.
I don’t care that Arkansas stinks – give me the Bret Bielema ground-and-pound brand of ball control, hard-nosed football, or the aesthetically beautiful Georgia Tech option attack – when the thing actually works – any day over a finesse brand that prances and dances too much.
I hate the weekly uniform changes. I hate the idea of beating teams by taking advantage of a loophole in the rules and the quick-pitch style. I hate the whole Nikezation aspect, and feeling like I’m being marketed to every time I watch the team play. I hate that it plays like it’s trying to get away with something. (This, by the way, makes no sense in my world since I have a thing for Bill Belichick.)
And I hate when the Ducks unnecessarily go for two, which made the misfire after their first touchdown all the more satisfying when the avalanche rolled in.
So when a tough, physical team like Utah comes into Autzen Stadium and applies an absolute pasting by controlling the clock – Utah had the ball for 36:40 – and with a strong, balanced attack, I’m hoping that this somehow sends a message to other programs. I’m hoping this shows that it’s okay to rely on defense and power as much as speed and diversion.
Don’t get me wrong, when the Oregon offense works and it manages to score 35 points in 14 seconds, it’s breathtaking to watch – the Rose Bowl bombing of Florida State was as impressive a display as anyone put on last season – but as Utah proved, you don’t need five-star athletes. You don’t need to be quirky. You don’t need to have anything but a terrific coaching staff and the right style.
Now, with all of that said …
